Gexx in Knoxville

This blog is about Gexx, in Knoxville

Archive for the ‘pain’ Category

this week…

Posted by Gexx on December 15, 2008

So, Blogojavich shakes down childrens hospitals.  Bush gets shoes thrown at him. 

My brother's car is in an accident.  Morgan's transmission explodes.

My kittens are cuddly.  And I was harassed at WalMart.

“Corruption and hypocrisy ought not to be inevitable products of democracy, as they undoubtedly are today” – Mahatma Ghandi

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Posted in pain, regular | Leave a Comment »

"women’s health" i said with half assed air quotes, "because half the population is a damned special interest group. you think health of half the population would be a regular fucking concern."

Posted by Gexx on October 16, 2008

a scene from my book club meeting on wednesday october 16 2008 from 6-8.30 pm.

we held the meeting early because we wanted to watch the debate.

which i watched. and watched mccain promptly put “health of the mother” in irreverent air quotes, as a phrase touted too much by the extreme pro abortion women’s health sector (but not touted as much as sarah palin touts the word “maverick”… that’s a touting toutable.

evidence, as i heart primary sources.

add this to a “I won’t use RvW as a litmus test, but I will.”

increase the rage by saying Palin is a women’s role model. (I want to be a woman who refuses to allow my fellow sex/gender buddies to exercise control over their bodies… fsck it, it’s just “women’s health” anyways. You know, the women special interest group. Who needs them. special interest is a PC term for “disenfranchised” anyways.)

raise it to boiling by bringing up both ACORN and Ayers, then when Obama explains the situations (rather beneficial for some of us who only managed to look up the basic facts of what the hell was being discussed) rather simply (not simplistically, keep in mind)and then interrupting it with “no, that’s not true”

and top it off by whining that Obama has launched “attack ads” criticizing a proposed health care plan and equating it to the rather heated lies/epithets shouted about Obama (the whole radical muslim/terrorist/communist/socialist (make up yout damn minds))… that’s SO not arguing the issues,Obama ::cry cry::

(example of this point which had previously been posted on San Fransisco Republican website)

Argh!

and then! and then! To his own damn party member. He can’t fscking promote Palin on HER OWN. Her strength will all be because she has a kick ass hubby.

I’m proud of her…And I can’t tell how proud I am of her and her family.Her husband’s a pretty tough guy, by the way, too.

And to those of you who survived to the end of my rant, John Cleese on Obama/Biden/McCain/Palin:

John Cleese (part 2): Obama, Biden & Fox News

Posted in general prickery, overthinking, pain, sexual rights | Leave a Comment »

intermission from brewer’s jam

Posted by Gexx on October 13, 2008

So I do museum education.  I’ve had some rather…. dense groups for the last while.  The frustrating part is that these are all fifth and sixth graders who I thought would have had SOME exposure to the Civil War in their life.

Answers to “So what were the two sides in the Civil War” (I was looking for north/south or union/confederate or something along those lines)

French and Indian (ok, not too bad)

The British and the French

The Soviets and the US (maybe because I had mentioned “union” earlier)

The Indian and the Men  {—- my fave, i think

Answers to “Who was president during the Civil War, he’s one of our more famous ones”

Ben Franklin

Dr. Suess

le sigh

Posted in pain, work | Leave a Comment »

dexter

Posted by Gexx on October 8, 2008

the other night morgan and i watched “dexter”, the series on hbo.  he had somehow temporarily aquired the dvds from the first season. so we watched the first episode, excited because of all the good reviews we heard about the series.

i really didn’t like it.

it seems like the potential for a good drama couched in the shock value of realistic looking dead people.

granted the porosity at the end of the long bones looked somewhat accurate (i’m not the most experianced among my crew) in the dismemberment, but really.

there was a lecture a few weeks ago for class. it was billed (in my mind) to be about the logistics of the 9/11 recovery process and forensic anthro type stuff there.  instead we got to see lots of dismembered body parts from different criminal cases.

i don’t like soft tissue.

but at the same time i’m glad that physanths are able to develop the methods and technology to apply to such forensic situations in order to identify individuals and methods of body “modification”.

dexter is cashing in on this.

ah well. shock shock shock.

Posted in geeking out, media, overthinking, pain | 1 Comment »

welcoming me back

Posted by Gexx on August 2, 2008

I don’t have the internet at my house just now. I will, I swear. My grandfather is insisting on it. I’m not totally sure what to think of this, but he’s giving me money for an internet connection. I really don’t want to accept it. It’s not the “I have standards” thing. I just feel horrible taking people’s money. It makes me feel like a failure, that I can’t support myself. I always want to. That is why I always felt so odd when Aaron would insist on us going out, but I would say “I can’t afford it,” and he would say he would pay. That is why I always stressed cooking for him (and his friends) whenever I could, asking what he would want. It was my way of balancing the resource-karma that flowed around us.

But for now I’m trying to get a little back into this slice-of-life / soapbox journal that I call a blog.

I’ve been a little angsty lately, and I hope that everyone, including me, will forgive me. It’s not just about boys, I swear. There’s some money problems, I think I’ll work that out. I need some time for that. I’ll just have to take out loans this year and be very careful with the cash. There’s also some medical things, beyond just the general maintaining a static level of health. I’m not quite ready to talk about them just yet, and I might not ever want to. Hopefully when it all plays out there’s nothing left to talk about.

I won’t deny, however, that a certain male has been burrowing into my worries.

Wednesday, I got back from work a little late, and I was exhausted. Therefor, all I wanted to do was go to bed. I got home locked the door (so I thought) and turned off all the lights except for the one next to my bed (so I thought) and then got ready for bed. I normally leave the light on in the bathroom, as that’s where the litter box is, and I don’t want to make it any more difficult than I must for the cats to shit on target. I read about 5 pages in my book and realized that it just wasn’t happening, so I turned off the light. I noted (so I thought) how dark it was without the bathroom light – which meant without ANY light. My house is so small that any light is noticable in any room. I woke up again in the middle of the night, stumbling to the bathroom without any light. I wish I noticed what time it was, but as I fell asleep by 10, it was probibly sometime between midnight and 2. The next morning I wake up and stumble around, I was late so the sun was already up. I pulled on clothes, did the bathroom thing in the dusk, and walked into my living room where

the light was on.

My living room light is a dimmer switch by my front door. It creeped me out, and I checked my door. The chain was in place, but the locks were undone. Now, I’ve gone and occasionally, very occasionally, when I’m dead tired, forget to lock both the door knob and the deadbolt, but ALWAYS when I come in the house, the doorknob gets locked automatically on closing the door. It’s just part of the motion: open, swap hand to other side, close door, as hand leaves door give the lock switch a twist. But the previous night I was carrying… something… ::thinks:: I had a load of books from my car. So I kicked the door shut so the cats wouldn’t get out. So, it was locked by just the chain all night. The chain allows the door to open up a good 5 inches, but (true to the concept) if one attempts to undo the chain, it can only be done when the door is fully closed.

I spend the day telling myself that I’m paranoid, that I was so tired I didn’t notice the little bit of light in the evening. But, it wasn’t a little bit of light. It was the ceiling light fully turned on.

I try to figure out who would do this, if I was correct in the lights being off when I went to sleep. Perhaps I did it in my sleep? Aaron turned off the air conditioner once in his sleep. But I’ve never done anything like that that I know of. Plus, I believe that drinking was involved in his instance.

In the two years I’ve lived in this house, I’ve never had a problem with people trying to break in. I’ve had some solicitors who were overly aggressive, and that’s it’s own BlogTherapy session, but even when my brother left the back door totally unlocked before a weekend in Georgia for a wedding, there was never a problem. I leave stuff on my front porch for weeks on end, and nothing is ever touched.

Up until this break up. A keeps showing up. But, it was Wednesday night, he’s supposed to be in Cookeville, as he’s working in Xville and living at his dad’s. Right? It bugs me all day Thursday, and with my other angsting, I call up A’s sis-in-law C, partially for affirmation that he wasn’t in town, partially to ask her how she can be such a stable, self assured individual… I was angsting really really bad and needed some advice. I had talked myself to the point where I realized that I just wasn’t getting anything. Partially, also, to see if she was going to go see SotS on Satureve. Well, she was busy with a bunch of people (or was this when it went to non-voice mail, I had called her earlier in the week about the SotS thing and one or the other happened so I needed to call her back about it anyways). So I went to bed, trying to convince myself that I was mistaken. I somehow manage to sleep, I don’t know how, smaller things have left me sleepless for weeks. And on Friday I go, get my hair done, and call C again, leaving a voice mail at this time, and she calls me back, a little rushed.

Then she started talking about how A was such an arse on Wednesday night when they were cleaning out his Knoxville apartment. I check that yes, it was Wednesday night. That he had left said apartment at early morning hours and headed out to get some sleep. I tell C about my discovery in the morning, and she pointed out the one thing that made me actually think it was possible: he has very “delicate” arms, turning on my light would not be a problem. Also, he’s been odd, looking for reasons to show up… toilet paper my arse.

Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but it had me rather creeped out. It’s good to know that he really has no reason to be in Knoxville anymore except for visiting his brother, who knows and (as far as I’ve gathered from N and C (and A and M and J)) is very discouraging of him bothering me… for all of our sakes.

Posted in boys, general prickery, house, overthinking, pain | 1 Comment »

At my neighbor’s house

Posted by Gexx on July 29, 2008

I locked my keys in my house and me out of the house. It’s sorta funny because I’ve actually had a habit of locking them *out* and then looking for them all through my house before I realize that I left them in the door as I brought a couple loads in.

So my neighbor was nice enough to let me stay in her house, it’s rather buggy. She fell asleep while watching Dora the Explorer with her daughter. They’re (they being the characters) are singing some song about open close and up down opposites.

I called my friend who has an extra set of my keys, so I’m not stuck in here for a while. I just feel bad bc she’s out doing dinner with her dad, it’s his 60th birthday!! I’ll be missing my belly dance lesson, that starts in about 5 minutes. But I figured it was either that or break a window. And, well, I’m a little lazy. Not in the missing the lesson aspect, but in the replacing the window.

I’ve also got a bit of an issue with personal security. Being all like, normal and that.

It’s been a while since I’ve updated, and even longer since I’ve *really* updated. A lot has happened since then. I’ve been broken up with, I’m tired, and I’m dealing with school loans. I need to sit down with a finance officer at the school and go through some of this. Stupid economy.

I’m tired, I feel so far behind, I really don’t know what I’m doing here.

I know it sounds like too much whining, but I’m just really… down.

I could use a hug and a bit of self-realization.

Have you ever sat down and realized that you’ve gone and done most everything in the last 6 months with the only thought, “I wonder what X will think of me. I want X to be happy. I want X to like me.” After the break up I realized that after a certain arguement with the boy back in November, that’s what my mindset became. So now I’m trying to figure out how to recover all that time, with the little money I have.

I need to get back on track.

It’s MY FAULT for letting myself fall into that.

Posted in overthinking, pain | 1 Comment »

Report from the field

Posted by Gexx on May 27, 2007

I’m heading back out to the field for a week, but thought that I would give a quick update on the general status.

The first week that we spent out in the field was fun. It was a touch chilly in the early part of the days, but a sweater was all that was needed. This coming week should be plenty warm. I have plenty of pictures of rusty metal, so you’ll get some posted eventually. I even found my new most favorite artifact. It might make its way to the blog.

The week went fine, and I have one of my two interns in. He seems like he’ll work for the summer.

Now I’m just trying to get all my stuff together and put together for next week. I’ll be gone, but will make it back on Saturday – maybe.

Posted in archaeology, college, geeking out, overconfidence, overthinking, pain, work | Leave a Comment »

intermission for lack of sense: St. Patrick’s Day

Posted by Gexx on March 19, 2007

Revelations on waking up at 10.30 AM on the Day after St. Patrick’s Day

1- Ow

2- Good think that I ate at 4AM, it’s too cold to get out of bed.

3- My pillow smells of cigarettes. Hey – I bet I smell of cigarettes!

4- My feet hurt. Actually, the gashes on the top of my feet hurt.

5- I haven’t been to a concert with that much energy since I saw They Might Be Giants.

6- Sheena may be a punk rocker, but Gexx is no mosh-pitter.

Yeah, I actually thought those, even number 6, even though it wouldn’t have qualified as a mosh pit. So therefor, if I can’t handle a St. Pat’s rowdy crowd, I prbibly shouldn’t get myself over my head (lit and fig). The funny thing, I was the mature, responsible designated driver. And I did it, I only had two beers: one at 9.30PM and one at 10 PM because St. Patricks day requires Black’n’Tans and I wanted a short buzz at the beginning. We didn’t leave until 2.30 AM, because the band played until 2.15. Then we had to regroup. Of course we were hungry, so off to the illustrious Waffle House where we sat, drank tons of water, and started to feel human again. After dropping people off I made my way back home, rinsed off my feet, and dropped into bed.

So – what was this show that literally kicked my arse? It was St. Patrick’s Day at the Preservation Pub with Cutthroat Shamrock.

I have seen Cutthroat Shamrock a few times before. They used to play in G-burg quite often. I remember meeting one of the band members at the Grandfather Mountain Highland Games in 2005, and if they played there then I saw them. There were so many bands, though, that I couldn’t keep track of who I saw other than Claan an Drumma (now called Albennach). Also, they played at the 2006 Brewers Jam in K-ville, and althought the band’s energy was high the only individuals dancing were a handfull of converse-clad highschoolers doing the Ska/Punkrock-Kick. Then, I saw them opening for Enter the Haggis. I went to see Cutthroat more than Haggis, but as they opened, they didn’t get much playing time. At that show, there were so few people and only 4 of us danced. Dancing was somewhay awkward at that moment because the band’s energy just calls for a crowd’s dynamic.

So – last night. Well, because the previous crowds had seemed so low energy, I wore some going out clothes: going out jeans, going out green shirt, and going out sequined ballet flats. The venue is a long narrow room with sepia toned, blown up portraits of individuals and their quotes on drinking. I stood in the front, literally against the 3 foot tall stage, with a group of friends. Since it was the Preservation Pub and because it was a Saturday St. Patrick’s day, there was a huge crowd. But we wanted to be in the front, so we made it.

The band started, and after a few songs, all of the incidental jostling transformed into contrived jostling. After a few more songs the created, contained bumping and jumping of Mob suddenly took off and WHAM! And because it was Mob, we joined. I was wolloped a few times, and I was knocked to the floor a few others. Everyone was quick to help people up, though. So that was nice – less worry of general bodily trampling. Instead, my feet in my little pretty shoes were smashed and covered with a sticky film of dirt mixed with the spilled beer. Ah well, the adreniline was running so high among us that I really didn’t care.

A statement of one of my companions could not have been more true: “I think I have more beer spilled onto me than I could ever afford.”

We, our portion of Mob, emerged soaked with sweat and beer. No bloodshed, thankfully. The evening was absolutely awesome! I’m so glad to see that the band actually does have a physical following and not just a MySpace posse. Next time I see them, I will wear my kick-arse shoes.

I really should do some work now, though.

Edit a video from the evening has been posted on youtube:

Posted in beer, downtown, i do have a life, pain | 1 Comment »