Gexx in Knoxville

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Theresa’s Wedding -Drama Mama’s, Dancing Grannies, and Problems with the Pastor’s Ex…. AND PICTURES

Posted by Gexx on November 10, 2008

My LITTLE brother.

My mother.

The other weekend I went to PA to see my bestest best best BEST friend from high school get herself married. I had met David, the groom/husband before. It was so long ago that JUSTIN met the groom/husband. He asked “are you still with that guy i met when Theresa got her wisdom teeth out?” I’m like “no” and Theresa says to me “No, you’re with that guy that you went to Texas with.” and i’m like “no” and they’re like “how many boys have you been through!?” and I answer, “I’m on my third.” I only counted “real” relationships, if you know what I mean.

So on to the wedding.

I drive up on Thursday, after the TN drama quiets down (she’s back from the hospital and feeling better, btw), leaving Knoxville at about 8AM, stopping somewhere in VA for a BLT and fries at 2 PM and then pulling into Bumblefuck, PA at 6PM. I unload my stuff, including some produce for my mother and make dinner with the TN eggplants, sweet potatoes, and her asparagus. Yummy!

Friday morning I call the bride because I know I’m supposed to be, at some time some where for a rehersal. I also ask if she needs help. So I spend the next while in a freezing old theater with a stamped tin roof stringing up miles of Christmas tree lights and lit up grapes, setting tables, and laying out alchohal. Each table got one bottle of Arbor Mist and one bottle of Maneschevitz (grape flavored wine? what?).

We rush off to the wedding rehersal, where the rev/priest/pastor informs us that while we must be at the church at 12:30, she can’t get there till 1 because her exhusband doesn’t have their 2 year old this weekend, so she’ll drop the kid off at her parents and then come over.

After the rehearsal, dinner at the Prime Rib buffet of Country Cupboard, where we stuffed ourselves full of the best mac and cheese ever concocted on this green/brown/blue earth. Then, after the rehearsal dinner, it’s halloween, so we go back to the reception hall and set up candies and peanuts for the favors, rewash all the stem ware, and make sure the tables are set properly.


The reception hall when we finished.

I get home at about 10, get tired of the tension between my mother and myself and go to bed.

The next morning, up at 7 to do my hair and get back to the reception hall at 9. At the hall we get the baloons ready, set up cookies, and any last minute details. We finally shoo Theresa (the bride) out at about 10:30, I stick around about another 20 minutes, and go home. My hair fell horribly, a combination of the silicone straitener I used and a light misty rain I was in the middle of, so I shower and redo it.

Then off to the church, where I start taking pictures. The bridal party is in one of the study rooms, the groomsmen are… who knows. My brother drove me and helped me bring my dress, shoes, purse, other purse, makeup, and jacket. Everyone was so surprised to see him. He’s tall, filled out some, and back from Iraq.

Everything getting ready goes pretty well. We get Theresa into her dress, and then we get into ours, taking pictures of us ladies as we go. Crystal and Corralyne (spelling?) and I looked marvelous. Then we looked at the flowers. The bridal bouquet was purple Cala Lillies with white flowers. And us bridesmades had three white Cala Lilies. Absolutely Elegant! They complimented the gowns gloriously.



The flowergirl gets in, M, and she’s told that her direction is that she will walk behind me. We did this so that she won’t get stage fright of being the first person out.


Then Theresa decides that since we have time and all the cousins and family seem to be here, we’ll take pictures, including some of her family, before the service. So we all head outside while the cousins gather the aunts, uncles, grandparents, and greatgrandparents. They aren’t coming out so after we do our bridesmaid pix we go back inside.

At which point Theresa’s mother comes running into the preperation room, grabs the photographer, and yells at her:

(T’s mom is a nurse and her dad is an electrician. They’re not normally in positions of having people “beneath” them, so this is/not normal at all.)

The religious officiating figure comes rushing in and leads her mother out “What do YOU still need to do, let’s focus on that. The wedding won’t start without everyone, and everyone else will wait.”

Thank God’s helpers. At this point the flower girl is quivering and literally interpreting her direction to stand behind me. My dress is clenched in one of her fists, and she has a death grip on the basket of flower petals.

The religious official helping diffuse the situation.

So then we continue with what we’re doing, get in line for the wedding, and her father looks at her and says: “That’s the veil? How the hell do I get THAT out of your face?” We all eyeroll and hope that her parents won’t continue this and other, nonreported, attempts to be at the center of the event. IT’S THERESA AND DAVID’S DAY DAMMIT! Then we show him that although the veil is massive, the part up front is smaller and you bring it over her head just like if it were a welder’s visor.

Music starts (finally!) and we file out and to the front. The veil is done fine. The pastor/reverend/ordained person said some marvelous things about love and togetherness and trust – very little if anything about GOD and JESUS – it actually made me a little weepy, hoping to find someone who I can share that sort of emotional intimacy/trust with for so long.

Then we headed out of the church, did a receiving line. Atleast 5 people I graduated with were like “Oh Hi! How are you?! It’s been so long!” And I couldn’t remember their name, just something about how I didn’t like them because they were mean so why the hell were they here, they must have changed and keep in touch with Theresa. And I smile saying “Yes, it has been too long, hasn’t it.”

Once everyone was outside, they had bottles of bubbles, and when the bride and groom came out of the church wwe blew bubbles. I managed to get a gob of the solution flicked into my eye, so before the NEXT round of pictures I ran inside and redid my eye makeup.

Pictures in the church, pictures outside, then we jump in Corralyn’s car and head to the reception hall. Once there, we wait about half an hour for the bride and groom (they went to ANOTHER location to take pix… an archway in the cemetary). Then we all get introduced and sit down at the head table.

The favors and place cards.

Food was delicious! Appatizers were Kelbasa (aka kelbessy) and meatballs. The main meals were BBQ beef briscuit or chicken cordon bleu. Vegetables were typical big seating medley of cauliflower, carrot, and something else. I was SO hungry between getting the reception hall ready and all. I had a sandwich at lunch but I was still hungry. So when the caterers brought extra chickens to our table, I (and others) totally dug into it.


Theresa and Crystal

Through this, I wandered over to a table populated with my friends from high school, some with their significant others and one pregnant (with her second!!!), and took some pictures of them. My mother was sitting with them. At one point, I hear one say “I don’t mind when someone talks politics, but I figure why should I try to convince someone of my view?” and someone responds “I totally agree, it’s just not polite.” And, ironically, I fight back responding that convincing people is more of educating them to views they aren’t aware of yet and that my future is dependant on others making properly informed decision.



She’s 6 month’s pregnant. With number 2!

Then we have all the dancings. Daughter daddy. Wife and husband. Dollar dance (1 dollar gets you a shot!).

The bride (I’m so proud of this picture!)

With her father



Then more dancing!

Theresa’s Grandmother Boogieing on DOWN!

100_0686 100_0685


Happy Couples!

Beth dancing and messing with a camera.

And more hanging out!

We were all elsewhere.

Bonnie (David’s mom) David, Theresa, and Matt taking a quick break from the people, people, and more people.

The siblings and their SigOthers.

See – where’s still not around.

Crystal with Johnathan

About 10PM we shut down and started cleaning up. Thankfully we finally get things set to a good point, after Theresa’s mom goes on for a while about… I’m not totally sure entirely but I think it had something with the kegs. Corralyne and Theresa’s brother Matt gave me a ride back.


And then I drove home.
PA farmland

Carlisle War College


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