Gexx in Knoxville

This blog is about Gexx, in Knoxville

Day 90 – chugging along

Posted by Gexx on August 3, 2008

Hugs all around to everybody. I know that 99.99999% of the people I mean don’t even know the existence of this blog, but I really appreciate them being here. I’ve gone through bouts of annoyance, anger, guilt, sadness, self-righteousness, fear, and many other not quite positive emotions. There have been many people who have been willing just to sit and let me try to formulate my thoughts, to take me out to get my mind off of it, and who have filled in the other side of the story when I started to be rather one sided about my failure to be in a relationship. I’m working on going through a “break over”. And I’m feeling good about things again, I think.

So, there’s a whole bunch to update on….

6 – In progress, I’m working for The Park again. It’s just a summer thing, though. So it’s sorta gainful, but the goal was for something a bit more… permanent.

17 – A conservative estimate, I have eaten at least two meals a day since July 1. It’s actually been longer than that, but this will make “for a month” much easier.

28 – I had my FIRST BBQ OF THE SUMMER!!!

26 – I went to the beach in NC with Heather, her sister, and their friend. There we tried all sorts of restaurants.

The Firebird, Durham NC, was a nice Bar/Restaurant. They made awesome mojitos and crab cakes.

The TIKI bar Wilmington NC, was a cute lunch stop. We had fried seafood platters and some good microbrews.

The OCEANIC Wilmington NC area – a most impressive facility. The food was awesome. I had a bowl of soup and a salad ( both were so big!). The soup was she-crab, made with local crab. I’m always on the lookout for local foodstuffs. The salad was a house salad topped with medium rare tuna slices. I drank a nice Biltmore Pinot-G. DELICIOUS!! The restaurant was HUGE and OLD. It was so old, in fact, that it was a historic place, and a side effect of being a historic place is that there are a lot of restrictions on any architectural changes. So they had only two 1 stall ladies’ rooms in the place. In the bothroom was a sign explaining why there aren’t more bathrooms. I was quite impressed. Others at the table got sauteed salmon, or grouper with a lemon-caper sauce. We were quite content.

The Buffalo Grill – Oak Ridge, TN – We were working near this place, and neither of us had gotten lunch, so we stopped in here. I had a fried green tomato sandwich… so much garlic… very very awesome.

42 – in progress… Heather and I signed up for Belly Dance lessons. They’re fun! We’ve only had one so far, but we paid for a 6 week series.

48 – this is where we get to have fun… lets see if I can remember everything.

Eat, Pray, Love
Elizabeth Gilbert
So, this is not a book to read right after a break up… or is it? EPL follows the author, it’s nonfiction, through a world wide search of “finding herself” and “getting over her marriage.” She eats and speaks her way through Italy in 4 months. She prays her way through an Ashram in India, another 4 months. And she attempts to put her learnings of both pleasure and devotion to use in Indonesia for 4 months. Along the way she works her way through her divorce, coming to terms with it. She meets new people, she falls in love, she makes you wish that you could get paid to get over your relationship.

It’s Called a Break Up Because it’s BROKEN
I read this right after Eat Pray Love. It’s part II of the “BOO HOO I’M SINGLE” trilogy. This book, written by a husband and wife team, is a rather humorous, no-holds barred account of how to not only deal with a break up but succeed with a break over. It’s quite clear. YES you will keep living. NO he isn’t sitting at home regretting his decision. YES there are other people. NO he’s not as good as you remember him. It continually points out “If he was so great, why did he break up with you?” Basically, it tells you what you know, but that you need someone else to hear. It was quite a good book for me to read. I was confused by Aaron’s sudden turn around in attitude, and was worried that I would lose some friends I made through him. It’s all turning out well, for me at least. He seems to be not the most friendly of people, taking something badly, which makes me worry.

ANGER by Thich Nhat Hanh
I had read this before, Claire had lent it to me a few months ago when I was dealing with some Aaron-grief. I decided to read it again, as I was feeling much anger toward Aaron and I did not want to be consumed with it. TNH is a Buddhist monk, exiled from Vietnam to France he was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize (I think *just* nominated, I don’t think he got it). Anger stress first and foremost “being there”, being conscious of your body and its movements (esp. breathing). It also focuses on the ability to listen deeply and compassionately, to let someone talk. It stresses that you should not allow yourself to be hurt, but if you feel your emotions start to overwhelm and impede on your ability to listen, to simple ask to continue at a later time. One should, when angered, especially by a loved one, talk to the loved one saying “My dear, I am angry. I am doing my best.” and asking for help. Anger is an emotion not to be denied, but if ignored or allowed to overtake, will eventually destroy a relationship.

True Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
I picked this up at the book store the other day. It is very short, almost informal. In it, TNH again focuses on the ability to listen deeply, to recognize one’s feelings and address them, and to understand the suffering in others.

Death of Vishnu by Manil Suri
I found this, mis shelved while looking at the philosophy section of the used book store. In the book, Vishnu, an odd-jobs man who lives on the landing of the apartment dwellers he serves, is dieing. The story follows Vishnu’s dreams of the two days as well as the lives of the residents of the apartments. Through using Vishnu’s dieing as a pivot to explore everyone else’s life, it illustrates one of the sayings I try to remember as I deal with people “Everyone has one secret, which, if you knew, would make you cry.”

Serpant and the Rainbow
This is a non-fiction account of a Harvard PhD candidates’ ethnobotanical foray into Haiti looking for the drug that creates Zombies. Very very awesome! I lent it to Nate, Aaron’s brother (I really appreciate that they still like me – if that sounds right at all) who has had a type of a fascination with zombies.

63 – went to the beach… AGAIN. If only I knew that if I made it a goal it would happen 3 times in a year.

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